Sports Pickle

[007]

Here is a funny site. It is similar to the Onion, except with a sports twist. I think it updates weekly, so check back often.

http://www.sportspickle.com

[andikay]

That's funny! I liked the Rafael Palmeiro poll.

"In addition to accidentally taking steroids, I accidentally lied a lot when I testified before Congress. My bad."

[007]

Funny stuff in here again. Check out the weekly poll.

[007]

"Padres swept by Cardinals in divisional playoffs

As the Padres look to eek out an N.L. West division title this week with a sub-.500 record, the team was informed today by major league baseball that they have been swept out of the first round of the playoffs by the St. Louis Cardinals, three games to none."

[007]

Baseball to Replace Umpires with Player Honor System

Faced with a scourge of umpires blowing calls in this year’s playoffs, baseball announced today that it will get rid of its umps before next season and replace them with a player honor system to call all balls, strikes and outs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The World Series is on pace for its lowest TV ratings ever. Are you watching?


-No way! I'm disgusted by well-played, fundamentally-sound baseball.

-Sort of. I flip over when Brad Lidge comes in because I like to watch home runs.

-Yes. I think it would be morally wrong not to watch just because the announcers are mentally retarded.

-No. As a member of the East Coast media, I feel any World Series played without the Yankees or Red Sox is a fraud.

-Yes. As a red-blooded, God- fearing American, I feel compelled to watch our nation's pastime at all times. Or at least when Fox News is on commercial.

-No. I'm that one Nielsen viewer who is watching hockey on OLN.

[007]

White Sox Finally Make Local News in Chicago

Thanks to their World Series sweep over the Houston Astros, the Chicago White Sox made the local news in Chicago for the first time in team history last week.

“I don’t know what was cooler – actually winning the World Series or coming home and seeing us mentioned on the 11 o’clock news,” said first baseman Paul Konerko. “I couldn’t believe it. It was so awesome. I called all my family, friends and neighbors when I heard we might be on the news and told them to tape it.”

The team’s world championship was covered most prominently on the local FOX affiliate – the network that broadcast the Series – which did a 20-second piece on the win late in the sports report after items on the Cubs, Bears, Bulls and University of Illinois football and basketball teams. The piece was followed by a Blackhawks story.

“This shows we’re starting to get some respect in this city and that we’re building a following,” said owner Jerry Reinsdorf. “I mean, wow – our World Series win ran ahead of a Blackhawks injury report? I’m getting excited again just thinking about it.”

The team’s title garnered similar coverage in last Thursday’s newspapers.

The ‘Chicago Sun-Times’ ran a three-paragraph, 86-word news item pulled from a wire feed on page C-19, while the ‘Chicago Tribune’ published a much longer 400-word article on the back page of their sports section, although most of the article was devoted to discussing how the White Sox will affect the Cubs off-season plans.

“It’s going to be a slow process for us getting recognized in this city,” said manager Ozzie Guillen. “But all things considered – and I don’t want to exaggerate here – but I honestly think we’re definitely giving the Arena League Chicago Rush a run for their money now as the seventh most important team in town.”

[007]

Pittsburgh Economy Now 90-Percent Terrible Towel-Based

The City of Pittsburgh, long known for the steel industry that gave the town’s beloved Steelers football team its name, now has an economy almost entirely based on the manufacturing and sale of Terrible Towels and other Steelers merchandise, according to a recent economic review of the city.



Perverted Steelers Fan Hoping To Win 'One For the Penis'

With Pittsburgh’s 26-year quest to win its fifth Super Bowl ring – “one for the thumb” – completed Sunday night with a victory over the Seahawks, one perverted Steelers fan is hoping next year will finally bring “one for the penis.”