Soul Queen for President!!

[matty]

What do you think, SQ? This country needs to be whipped into shape!

JVO and I will be your campaign managers.
AndiKay will handle PR.
The nerds will do all the nerd shit involved, as I'm sure there's a ton of it.
Everyone else will contribute with whatever it is that they do.

Some platform issues:
1. Legalize it.
2. Outlaw Christianity and Islam and anything else that seems like a stupid idea.
3. Equal rights for all citizens.
4. Free kittens for everyone!
5. A pledge to find a cure for cancer and AIDS over the next ten years.
6. Withdraw ALL troops from EVERYWHERE. It's just a big mess.

[larryhead]

Well, she has my vote... I only request lifetime tax exemption and command of the Pacific fleet. :)

[JVO]

SQ: Just give me the word and we can have a poll in 10,000 houses in a day and Andi can start with the press releases. Florida is an outstanding state to run from: you will get old people votes, hispanic votes, Jewish votes (especially if you campaign on ellimination of Islam), and southern votes. Start visiting old folk's homes and you will be a lock. Only problem I see is when we go to New Hamshire in November. I give it 2 minutes before you start telling people how stupid they are to live in such a cold place. (Note to Matty: Maybe we should invest in a faux mink coat for the primaries.)

[matty]

Mink coat--I'm on it.

Yeah, SQ, there are some things you'll have to keep to yourself during the campaign, but once you're in office you can say whatever you want. Hell, make ALL the stupid people like in cold places. It's fine with me. You're the PRESIDENT!! You can do whatever you want!

[Soul Queen]

Hmm it could be the beginning of World Domination.

:sumo:

[Soul Queen]

It would also become mandatory that everyone learns martial arts, like in kindergarten.

[slam]

i think that deleting all references to yourself on this board might be a prescient first step.

and seriously, you're going to have to buy my silence, SQ. i know far too many secrets, and i've taken the liberty of writing them down and storing them in a safety deposit box, with instructions that should i come to an early demise... well, you get the picture.

there's photoss in there. notarized eye-witness reports. recordings. let's start talking $$$.

[matty]

Whatever, Slamden. Like we don't ALL have pics of SQ doing it.

Also--SQ. I need to talk to you about something. We need to assassinate Slam, like now. I'm on it.

[JVO]

I am sure it would not be too difficult to impune Slam's credibility. What if we offered you a cabinent position? You could be Secretary of Nerds or maybe the President's Advisor for the Counsel on Non Fitness. That might be a good position for you. If that is not acceptable we have other ways to take care of miscreatens. All I will say is they involve John Denver and Rush Limbaugh. Don't make us pull out the heavy guns.

[matty]

Advisor for the Counsel of Non Fitness....that's funny.

Hey, can I be on Supreme Court? I mean, after the campaign?

[slam]

i was hoping for something more asinine and pointless, like, say, the FCC.

first step: all broadcast media such as television and radio must include at least one (1) minute of hardcore porn for every five (5) minutes of regular advertising. i figure, at best we'd get a lot of porn, and at worst there'd be no more ads.

and then i would dissolve the sbc, 'cause they suck.

[007]

You're in Slam. I'll put in a good word for you (since I'll be the First Man).

[Soul Queen]

i think that deleting all references to yourself on this board might be a prescient first step.

and seriously, you're going to have to buy my silence, SQ. i know far too many secrets, and i've taken the liberty of writing them down and storing them in a safety deposit box, with instructions that should i come to an early demise... well, you get the picture.

there's photoss in there. notarized eye-witness reports. recordings. let's start talking $$$.

For some reason I'm not that afraid. Mainly because I know how lazy you really are.

Hell, your 5 years of college you took maybe one roll of film. I doubt if I am in any of them. Plus, I do live in Miami. I just need to get in touch with the mob or the drug czars. Nobody would believe a junkie like you. :skull: It would be like Arthur Teale stories. Except mine would have a happier ending.

I guess if I had you disappear your family would never forgive me. Hmmm maybe if I hired someone that looked and acted like you. (maybe I can hire that guy that plays Harry Potter). No one would know the difference.

[matty]

I still say we assassinate him....

[andikay]

http://www.arl.wustl.edu/~lockwood/class/ece291/archive-sum99/class-information/students/Camden_Daily.jpg

http://entimg.msn.com/i/gal/HarryPotter_Goblet/goblet_harry2_273x400.jpg

Hmmm...it is pretty close.

[andikay]

When I was searching for an appropriate Harry Potter picture with which to taunt slam, I found this:

http://honan.net/chiangmaipix/harry-potter-acid-pops.jpg

Where can I get my hands on some of those?

[matty]

:lmao:

[slam]

goddammit, i go one weekend without internet while moving to a new pad and looky what happens! people start hunting down photos of me and posting them to the whole internet! for shame! for shame! (i gotta contact that webmaster and tell him there's really no need to maintain images of me from one of my college courses...)

that's it, time to start hacking phpbb and taking down images! DDoS for the whole server! my secrets will die with this thread!

[matty]

What secrets?? Like it's a secret you look like Harry Potter?

[Diamond Vision]

tell restaurants you are Harry Potter... maybe you'll get free stuff!

Harry Potter for President!

[andikay]

oh, but that picture of you is so cute, slam. It needs to be saved for posterity. You look so young and innocent and not-yet-corrupted.

[Soul Queen]

Slam has always been corrupt. That was the soul he was born with. Black!

[matty]

All the signs of Slam's evilness are there--the inability to withstand direct sunlight, the darting, weasel-like eyes, the Gollum-esque backside and skull....

[andikay]

:lmao:

[slam]

yer just jealous, matty. you can try your whole life and never achieve once ounce of the evil that i was innately granted.

[matty]

I just want to stay pretty! Look what happens to evil people--Darth Vader and his gross, burnt up robot body; Adolf Hitler and his dwarfy, lumpy self; GW and his chimp lips.

And you, of course. Evil is fun, but it's hard on the social life.

[Simolean2]

Though its been fun wathing everyone slam, slam.

I vote for SQ for president.....
*Extends hands for free kittens*