matty
09-18-2007, 03:06 PM
Short article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20823195/
Re: Keven Federline thinks somebody has put a hit out on him.
I always think stuff and then I wish I’d have said it out loud so everybody would know I can see the future. So here goes: Britney put a hit out on K-Fed, and she will get caught and go to jail forever. AWESOME.
She won’t actually go to jail forever, she’ll get Conspiracy to Murder charges and be let go in like 30 years or something, at which point she will have a reality tv show about getting out of jail, and we’ll all be like, who the fuck? OMGit’sBritneySpears.
Alternate (divergent) timeline possibility: It’s obvious she put the hit on him, but she gets away by the Celebrity Clause. Now on top of being trashy and washed-up, she’s a murderess, making her a million times more popular with the gays. She falls into a pit of despair and booze, gains a million pounds, has her children taken away, and eventually commits suicide by sleeping pills. (Which yet again makes the gays love her.) One of her kids grows up to be a singer/dancer/actor just like Britney, thus making Britney this generation’s LIZA! Sort of.
This is momentous because every thirty years there has to be a LIZA! It’s sort of like how Godzilla comes back at a certain time, or herpes. A small team of heroes will be assembled to take LIZA! down, but they will be defeated by Britney, as she must devour the heart of LIZA! to gain her powers.
I’ll just stop now.
Re: Keven Federline thinks somebody has put a hit out on him.
I always think stuff and then I wish I’d have said it out loud so everybody would know I can see the future. So here goes: Britney put a hit out on K-Fed, and she will get caught and go to jail forever. AWESOME.
She won’t actually go to jail forever, she’ll get Conspiracy to Murder charges and be let go in like 30 years or something, at which point she will have a reality tv show about getting out of jail, and we’ll all be like, who the fuck? OMGit’sBritneySpears.
Alternate (divergent) timeline possibility: It’s obvious she put the hit on him, but she gets away by the Celebrity Clause. Now on top of being trashy and washed-up, she’s a murderess, making her a million times more popular with the gays. She falls into a pit of despair and booze, gains a million pounds, has her children taken away, and eventually commits suicide by sleeping pills. (Which yet again makes the gays love her.) One of her kids grows up to be a singer/dancer/actor just like Britney, thus making Britney this generation’s LIZA! Sort of.
This is momentous because every thirty years there has to be a LIZA! It’s sort of like how Godzilla comes back at a certain time, or herpes. A small team of heroes will be assembled to take LIZA! down, but they will be defeated by Britney, as she must devour the heart of LIZA! to gain her powers.
I’ll just stop now.