matty
04-22-2009, 09:05 AM
So it's staff appreciation week or some bs, and I came in this morning to find an eponymous little yellow bag on my chair:
tea bag--to let you know you're tea-rrific
band-aid--for all the aid you provide
life savers--to remind you that you're appreciated a hole lot.
2 pennies--so you have the cents to realize how valuable you are.
mint--to remind you that we're thankful for your commit-mint.
tootsie roll--for the important roll you play.
paper clip--for keeping things organized.
rubber band--to remind you to stay flexible.
crayon--to color your days cheerful and bright.
What a bag of useless crap. There's only one of everything. Except the pennies, obviously, and OOOOOO thank you so much for two pennies. How about you give me back the 2% you're skimming off my salary, you giant heartless education machine?
I'm already cutting corners everywhere I can. I haven't driven my car since fucking Sunday, I might have to get rid of cable, I've still got bills to pay from my outrageous heat through the winter, but hey, at least I won't need to pick up some band-aids! At least, for one injury I won't have to pick up some band-aids.
And a rubber band? seriously? Just from where I'm sitting at my desk, I can count twelve rubber bands strewn about.
How about flowers? I would have taken flowers. Or an entire box of tea; that's like, what, $2? I understand we're in a budget crunch, but if our budget is so goat-screwed, why give us Survival Kits at all? I would rather have not gotten anything than to get such a pish-posh bag of ridiculousness that they obviously scrounged up from the desks of the same office I work in.
I feel so appreciated. And now i'm being hassled by this guy from a couple offices down who doesn't wash his hands after he pees. *shudder*
tea bag--to let you know you're tea-rrific
band-aid--for all the aid you provide
life savers--to remind you that you're appreciated a hole lot.
2 pennies--so you have the cents to realize how valuable you are.
mint--to remind you that we're thankful for your commit-mint.
tootsie roll--for the important roll you play.
paper clip--for keeping things organized.
rubber band--to remind you to stay flexible.
crayon--to color your days cheerful and bright.
What a bag of useless crap. There's only one of everything. Except the pennies, obviously, and OOOOOO thank you so much for two pennies. How about you give me back the 2% you're skimming off my salary, you giant heartless education machine?
I'm already cutting corners everywhere I can. I haven't driven my car since fucking Sunday, I might have to get rid of cable, I've still got bills to pay from my outrageous heat through the winter, but hey, at least I won't need to pick up some band-aids! At least, for one injury I won't have to pick up some band-aids.
And a rubber band? seriously? Just from where I'm sitting at my desk, I can count twelve rubber bands strewn about.
How about flowers? I would have taken flowers. Or an entire box of tea; that's like, what, $2? I understand we're in a budget crunch, but if our budget is so goat-screwed, why give us Survival Kits at all? I would rather have not gotten anything than to get such a pish-posh bag of ridiculousness that they obviously scrounged up from the desks of the same office I work in.
I feel so appreciated. And now i'm being hassled by this guy from a couple offices down who doesn't wash his hands after he pees. *shudder*